Sunday, February 7, 2010

WOLFMAN'S GOT NARDS.

I don't want this to become like the livejournal I kept when I was 15 years old where I wallowed in self-pity over trivial problems and petty relationships. SO, instead, I'm going to use this as a place where I can comment on what I feel like is overrated or underrated every week (and I mean in any genre. Movies, music, actors, food, art, TV shows, whatever). Some weeks, I'll post multiple times a week while other weeks I may only post once. Obviously, these are my opinions but I'll try to support them as logically as I can (though knowing myself, I'm sure sometimes I'll just hate/love something for seemingly no reason).

UNDERRATED
This is going to seem like an obvious choice to start with for anyone who knows me. If you've met me and we've talked for more than 20 minutes, at some point, I will have probably brought up Monster Squad. Ridiculous 80's outfits/haircuts? Yes. Cheesy dialogue? Absolutely. Cliches everywhere? Totally. But yet, to me, it's still one of the most underrated/under-appreciated movies of the 80s. Monster Squad came out in 1987, two years after the insanely popular movie The Goonies. Both films chronicle the adventures of pre-teenage boys. We all (more or less) know the plot of The Goonies. In Monster Squad, the boys attempt to save the world from Universal's monsters (aka Dracula, the Creature, Wolfman, the Mummy, and Frankenstein) who have come back to earth to take over. First of all, he plot itself is way cooler than the plot in The Goonies. ALL THE UNIVERSAL MONSTERS COMING BACK TO PRESENT DAY EARTH?! What could POSSIBLY be lame about that? Second of all, the dialogue is hilarious and the cult-classic quotes are endless. Some of my favorites include "Wolfman's Got Nards!" (said by Horace, the token "fat kid" of the film after he kicks Wolfman in his man parts), "YOU'RE NOT A VIRGIN ARE YOU?" "Well... Steve.. but he doesn't count!" "DOESN'T COUNT?!" (a conversation I'm sure I've had at one point in my life... or two points... or three points... WHO'S COUNTING REALLY?), and " See ya later, Band-Aid Breath!" (said to the Mummy). My point is, this movie has everything that The Goonies has and more. And the only reason, in my opinion, that it didn't do very well is because The Goonies came out first. The outfits are ridiculous (Sean, one of the boys, wears a shirt that says, "Stephen King Rules"), the dialogue is unbelievably corny (see above quotes), the special effects are far from special (although it WAS the 80s), and the acting is mediocre (although I think the kid actors are pretty awesome/entertaining). But this movie is a true gem. It's got so much character and likability that I think everyone should at least see it once. I'll even let you borrow it, I've got it on VHS!
(I bought this shirt for a dude I dated once. I wish I could get it back but that would require me speaking to him which I'd rather not do. Don't date dudes in the midwest, they're all weirdos from hell.)

OVERRATED
Listen, I'm all for sex and nudity in films but this movie was just ridiculous. Let me say for the record, when I say "overrated", I don't necessarily mean that whatever I'm discussing was "bad". I just mean that I feel like the film gets too much credit. If you haven't see Hostel, I'm not going to say you should totally avoid it. But you should, however, understand that this is torture porn. Instead of developing the characters personalities, Eli Roth uses the beginning of Hostel as a way to basically show as much nudity as possible. The rest of Hostel is filled with violence/gore/torture that seemingly serves no purpose. To me, the best horror films expose why evil exists or how evil works within someone which ultimately causes them to torture/kill/murder. It's not that I'm against torture or gore at all, I think when it's used correctly in horror films, it serves a purpose. But in Hostel, there's no purpose except to just shock you. That doesn't make a horror film exciting to me. I like to see the way the torturer thinks. Thats why I think Saw was so interesting (despite my MAJOR disappointment in the continuing franchise. Seriously JUST STOP). The torture in Saw is gruesome like in Hostel but it "serves a purpose" as far as the plot in the film goes. I think Hostel could have been a good movie but it fails in it's lack of clear plot/character development. It was gory just for the sake of being gory and had tons of nudity just for the sake of having tons of nudity, which is, I'm SURE, why a ton of people love it. But I can see myself naked so it's going to take more than just boobs to make a film interesting to me.